Each year leading a handful of those in the community going through a cancer journey themselves or with a loved one share their story. These are the people the efforts of Pink Arrow help in the community. They’re friends and neighbors. You may not even know how cancer has touched them. This series of stories are written by the person you will read about or by someone on their behalf. We thank them for sharing their story and the courage to battle cancer in some way.
If you are interested in volunteering for any upcoming Pink Arrow events please visit these sign-ups and claim a spot or two. Help sell shirts at Peptalk sign up here. To help at Community Day on August 17 sign up here. Volunteer to sell shirts on game day September 8 by signing up here. And if you’re interested in signing up to donate blood on Community Day select your spot here.
Photo courtesy of Heather Eveland and is used with permission. You can visit her photography website and Facebook page for more information.
Jan Howland shares her story about having breast cancer. She found Gilda’s Club and within it a support group for herself. They have also been there offering support as she grieves.
When your life gets turned upside down, all you want is for things to make sense again, a couple of hours that you don’t have to make life and death decisions, a little bit of normal. Gilda’s Club of Lowell was where I found that and so much more.
My story has taken some twists and turns, taken me places that I never thought I would be. I first found a small lump in 2013 while doing my monthly self-check. It was right before our annual vacation with friends, so I just kept it to myself, thinking I would call the doctor when we got back to have it checked out. When we got back home, I was busy at work and, truth be told, a little nervous about going in, so put it off for a couple of weeks. Then came the phone call that my husband had been in an accident on his motorcycle—a deer had hit him broadside and Aeromed was taking him to Spectrum downtown. He was critically injured and for several days I wasn’t sure if he was going to survive. With all of that going on, my tiny little lump went right off the list of things to worry about. Fortunately, he did make it through, after almost a month in the hospital and was able to come home. There was some permanent damage and I became his nurse/physical therapist and our lives revolved around trying to get him back to good health and mobility again. Fast forward about six months, self-exam time again and the tiny lump is a little bit bigger, so now it goes back to the top of the worry list. I told my husband about it and to my surprise, he didn’t go into heart failure again. He took over while I fell apart for a minute and we started on the cancer trip together.
While the lump had grown some, it was still pretty small. Once they were done with all the tests and biopsies, I was scheduled for surgery within two weeks. I was shocked that it went so quickly and I was home the same day. Waiting to get all the test results back from the lymph nodes and other tissue samples seemed interminable, but they all came back clear. I agreed to do a regimen of radiation treatments, even though they said they “got it all” just for the extra protection, in case there was a stray cell or two in the area. I declined to do the chemotherapy, if they got it all like they said, what exactly was the point? I have never been a fan of pills and doctors and don’t like pharmaceuticals, especially something that I knew would make me sick and possibly cause so many other issues. I had a new grandbaby on the way, a husband who still needed to be cared for, a life that I wanted to live. I did have to defend my position on this to a few people, but in the end, it’s a decision that no one gets to make for someone else—my life, my choice and I have no regrets about that.
It was at the surgeon’s office that I picked up a program flyer for Gilda’s Club. I had heard about the program and was interested in many of the things that were offered. I thought I’d check out a workshop on essential oils that was being offered at the Lowell area clubhouse and as soon as I walked in, I knew I had found a very special place. It was the first time since my diagnosis that I didn’t get the look—that look you get from people when they find out you have cancer, a mix of pity and discomfort when they don’t know what to say. I felt like I had found my safe haven! Everyone was wonderful, warm and caring, without being condescending or dismissive. I decided to come to the breast cancer support group once to see what that was like and I was hooked. The ladies in the group have been such a great source of help, information, inspiration, affirmation, love and laughter. It was the best thing for me at that time in my cancer journey and meeting so many other women who had been through it or were still going through it, really gave me hope for my own recovery. No judgments, no reproach of any of my choices, just support, just a safe place to be, to talk, to listen, to let it all out. I am not dismissing the support and help that I had from my family and friends, because they were all wonderful through all this, but I didn’t want to burden my children with all of my fears. I felt that it was not their place to be the fixers for me, I’m the mom, I had to be strong, even when I didn’t have it in me. Gilda’s Club helped me find that strength within myself.
Last year on Father’s Day, my husband was diagnosed with end stage lung cancer and even though it wasn’t breast cancer related, my Gilda’s group was there for me. It was devastating for our family and totally unexpected. He chose to treat it aggressively with a very strong chemo, but it had already spread to his liver and his bones. Sadly, by October he was gone and my life was upside down again. I think I am adjusting fairly well, most days, other days not so much, but I know there is a support system available and that helps. My children and their spouses and my grandchildren have really been there for me, given me reasons to not run away from holidays and other grief triggers. And of course, my group ladies have been a great source of support. I will attend the grief group one of these days, when I’m ready to share it all with a new group of people. I think I will probably find it will help me as much as my own cancer group has, once I get there. Right now, I am focusing on finding my way through life on my own, adjusting to the life changes of the last year, trying to find my new normal. It’s a great comfort to have a place like Gilda’s Club, where I can go and feel like I am not alone on this road.
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